NOTE: When dealing with cancer, finding kindred spirits to talk with - whether or not they have had cancer, is vital. Or at least it has been for me. During my first experience, 20 years ago, I met a few people I could talk with about what I was going through, their presence made my struggle more manageable. This time around, it is no different. Many times those closest to the cancer patient have heard about what they are going through - or have experienced it by virtue of proximity - that it becomes increasingly hard to talk with them -- even when it is necessary. So, those cancer patients who are the 'talkative' type, seek others to which they can share their feelings, concerns, hopes and fears. If it were not for these extended friends, dealing with life threatening illness would be much less bearable.
Chapter 19: A Fortuitous Friendship
To Reg it seemed like hours that had past, sitting there in the lobby, watching people pass by. He was becoming more and more used to seeing the 'colors' that people put off, and was getting better at recognizing the 'sick' from the 'healthy'. He could not yet identify what was wrong - he could not identify which people had cancer and which people had liver complications, or coronary artery disease - but telling the sick from the healthy was getting easier.
The brightest auras - that was the term the hippy chick he dated in college used to use. "What was her name? Starbeam? Moonlitght? No... hmmm. Moonglow! Yes that was it, Moonglow!" Reg sat there watching the people pass by, trying to remember now why he was attracted to her in the first place. Maybe it was the fact that she rarely wore as bra, or underwear for that matter. Or maybe it was that she ONLY liked to make love outside -- even in the winter! "Ah, I miss those days", he said out loud.
"What was that, Deary?" a female voice, right next to him on the couch said. Reg had not realized that anyone had taken the seat next to him. He turned to greet the woman and was surprised to see that as he turned to get a better look at her, she seemed to disappear from his sight - like somehow she wasn't really there - existing only in his peripheral vision.
For a moment, he thought he was hallucinating. "Man, this suit must really be playing with me." he muttered.
"No, no, Deary. You are not imagining things." the voice, comforting now, said.
Reg felt a flush of calm pass over him. He looked - from the corner of his eye - and saw that the woman had laid her and on his leg, in grandmotherly fashion.
The woman seemed to be in her late 70's with stark white hair, and her skin had a golden sheen, like she had been sprinkled with very fine glitter. Again, he turned to get a better look, and again her image faded. "What's going on? Am I seeing things? Who are you?" Reg, whispering now. He looked around the lobby to see if anyone noticed that he seemed to be talking to himself.
The woman continued, "You can call me... Gloria. The more you get used to your new situation, the easier I will be able to see. You are simply not there yet, Deary."
"What do you mean, not ready?" Reg questioned.
The old-lady laughed now, lightly, like a grandmother would when a silly grandchild asked an even sillier question, "You have only begun to see your new path. Your life has been changed. You have new challenges to face, new purposes to discover."
"I still don't understand. What the hell are you saying." Reg was getting more frustrated, both with the inability to face this woman directly and with her cryptic language.
"Now, now, Deary! Such language! Settle down and listen. In fact go on watching the people here, and I will try to explain." she said.
She reached out and grasped his hand in hers, the calm engulfed him again. "Every so often there are people who are born special. They have the power to help people. Over time they have been called healers, shamans, sifu or sensei. Some realize their ability, develop them and have spend a lifetime helping others."
Reg turned a little, her image became a little more clear, still shimmering, she was wearing a pale blue dress with a pattern of white flowers. She also wore a necklace with a shimmering blue stone.
Reg looked around, no one in the lobby seemed to notice anything unusual.
Gloria continued, "Thanks to medical technology, there are people like you who are MADE special, through medical treatment, and become...well, become like us, and we need as many of you as we can find."
If Reg had been confused before, by anything from his initial diagnosis only a few short weeks ago, to dealing with the XACTO suit and it's permanence, he was simply lost now. He was glad he was not standing, or he was certain he would have passed out like he did in doctor Warfel's office. For a moment he thought he was going to be sick.
Gloria sat there, patient, letting him absorb what she had said. She smiled, and Reg felt the calming feeling again, "It's o.k. my Deary, you have been through a lot today. I will speak to you again soon. You need to rest."
Reg felt himself leaning over onto the comfortable leather sofa, and he drifted off into sleep.
Chapter 20: A Day of Discovery
"Reg, Reg... Wake Up!!! God, we were so worried! You disappeared!" Polly was shaking him. He sat up with a start.
"Gloria...Gloria?" Reg was trying to bring himself to wakefulness.
Polly, confused, asked, "Who is Gloria?"
"Oh...uh, nobody. Well, she was a woman I was talking with a while ago. She's gone now." Reg tried to explain, hoping Polly would let it go.
"I'm tired. I want to go back to my room." Polly guided him to his feet, as she held him, he noticed that she appeared to emit the most pleasing shade of green light. As he walked he passed many others who emitted various other colors... blues, reds, yellows, browns, greys. It was tiring. When ever he passed by those who appeared 'darker' he got weaker. Passing the young, particularly children, seemed to give him strength. When they got back to his hall, nearing his room, he noticed a bright yellow light coming from his room... "Lucy's here, isn't she?" he asked Polly as they approached his door.
"How did you know that? It was supposed to be a surprise." Polly asked.
"Never mind. I just knew." Reg said. He shuffled slowly to his bed, climbed in, green and yellow light filling the room as he drifted off.
When he woke, the morning sun was streaming into his room at an angle, bouncing off the beige wall, thermal waves from the window heater making the reflections dance on the wall at the foot of the bed. He found he was starving.
The glow of Polly and Lucy was gone. He didn't know what time it was, all he knew is that he could eat an entire side of beef, were it presented to him.
Nurse Clarice had swept into his room in her silent, nursey way. She was taking his blood pressure, checking his pulse.
"Can I get something to eat? I'm starving!" Reg said, sitting up. Now suddenly awake. "Pink, pink. Pink light, Clarice is pink. I don't know what it means but there it is."
"I will let them know in the kitchen, honey-chile. Clarice will hustle you up some food, don't you worry 'bout nothin'." she said as she left the room.
Reg was really surprised by his appetite. Sausage, eggs, a pancake, juice and coffee... all gone, in record time. He felt invigorated. Fresh. Better than he had felt in days. "Maybe, it had all been a dream. A nightmare of some kind." Reg pulled open his hospital gown, only to discover, to his dismay, the blue fabric of the XACTO suit was still there.
"Damn it! Shit...!" he said, to no one in particular. Suddenly though, a golden glow appeared to his right, in the chair to his right. He turned suddenly, saw that an elderly lady in a blue dress, with white hair was sitting there. He blinked, and she was gone.
He turned away and the glow appeared again. "Slowly, slowly, Deary! And, I think I already warned you about that language. My stars!"
"Gl...Gloria? You are real? You weren't some kind of dream from yesterday?" Reg said, remembering to look at her only from an angle.
"Well, to YOU and others like us I am very real." she said. As he turned slowly, he saw her reassuring smile again. "I am glad you have eaten. It's time to take a walk. We have to get you working, and soon. There are lives to save."
Gloria appeared now next to his bed, offering her hand, he reached out and stood up, steadying himself at the foot of his bed. He slid his feet into his slippers and headed for the doorway. Gloria was already in the hall.
"Today, you will meet some people that need our help. Hurry, our first patient is very ill." Gloria pointed to a room down the hall that only emitted the faintest of blue light.
Gloria continued, "This is Patricia. She has acute myeloid lymphoma. The doctors have done all they can, she's only 10. She has so much to live for, but her light is fading, the cancer is winning, she needs your help."
Something moved out of the corner of Reg's eye. Something red, with what seemed like long nails reaching out to the little girl in the bed in front of him. She was struggling to breathe, seemed very much in pain.
The fatherly instinct in him found him reaching out to shove it away. He was surprised when he felt an almost burning resistance at his efforts.
With one hand resting on the child, he pushed away at the being to his right, "LEAVE HER ALONE!" He shouted. His right hand burned more, but the being disappeared.
Turning back to the little girl he said, "Patricia, Patricia, it's o.k. It's going to be fine. You will be o.k."
She opened her eyes, smiled and looked at him, she whispered, "Is it gone? Did you make it go away?"
"Yes." Reg said, "I think so." He smiled at her. As he was standing there, holding her little hand, a team of nurses and doctors rushed into the room.
"Sir, sir. What are you doing? Can you step away from the child please?", a nurse was tugging at Reg's arm.
"Yes, yes. I'm sorry. I was walking past her room and she wanted me to come in. I think she thought I might have been her father or something." a lie, Reg knew, but he could hardly explain how he really got there.
The nurse continued, "It's o.k. sir, she's very ill. She has been talking in her sleep a lot the last couple of days. It's the medication."
"All right. I need to go back to my room anyhow. I'm really tired all of a sudden myself." Reg said, he was honestly tired, his right hand and arm ached, he needed to lay down.
Noticing his weakened state, the nurse held him by the arm, "O.K. let's get you back to your room. I will send in your nurse."
Reg walked arm and arm with the young nurse and when the got back to his room and he took a seat on the edge of his bed, he noticed a faint yellow glow in the nurses abdomen, shining through her otherwise green light, "You are pregnant? When is your baby due?"
Startled the nurse dropped her stethoscope, "What? How could you...? You can't know that? I haven't even tested..." she ran from the room.
As Reg layed back onto the bed, he saw the doctor who was attending the little girl pass by outside his room. He couldn't be exactly sure, but he was almost positive he heard him say, 'complete remission' and 'amazing recovery' and 'her disease is gone, I don't understand it.'
The 'glow of Gloria' as Reg decided to call it, appeared to his left this time. "See, I told you. You have a new purpose. You just cured that little girl. Now rest, I know this is exhausting."
The image of Gloria vanished as the pink glow of Nurse Catrice preceded her arrival into the room, "I hear you had quite an adventure today, chile. I also hear you barely made it back to bed, to. So, Catrice be here with some meds, to let you res' for a while." She produced the ever familiar purple syringe, poked it into the IV tube, and once again, Reg drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 19: A Fortuitous Friendship
To Reg it seemed like hours that had past, sitting there in the lobby, watching people pass by. He was becoming more and more used to seeing the 'colors' that people put off, and was getting better at recognizing the 'sick' from the 'healthy'. He could not yet identify what was wrong - he could not identify which people had cancer and which people had liver complications, or coronary artery disease - but telling the sick from the healthy was getting easier.
The brightest auras - that was the term the hippy chick he dated in college used to use. "What was her name? Starbeam? Moonlitght? No... hmmm. Moonglow! Yes that was it, Moonglow!" Reg sat there watching the people pass by, trying to remember now why he was attracted to her in the first place. Maybe it was the fact that she rarely wore as bra, or underwear for that matter. Or maybe it was that she ONLY liked to make love outside -- even in the winter! "Ah, I miss those days", he said out loud.
"What was that, Deary?" a female voice, right next to him on the couch said. Reg had not realized that anyone had taken the seat next to him. He turned to greet the woman and was surprised to see that as he turned to get a better look at her, she seemed to disappear from his sight - like somehow she wasn't really there - existing only in his peripheral vision.
For a moment, he thought he was hallucinating. "Man, this suit must really be playing with me." he muttered.
"No, no, Deary. You are not imagining things." the voice, comforting now, said.
Reg felt a flush of calm pass over him. He looked - from the corner of his eye - and saw that the woman had laid her and on his leg, in grandmotherly fashion.
The woman seemed to be in her late 70's with stark white hair, and her skin had a golden sheen, like she had been sprinkled with very fine glitter. Again, he turned to get a better look, and again her image faded. "What's going on? Am I seeing things? Who are you?" Reg, whispering now. He looked around the lobby to see if anyone noticed that he seemed to be talking to himself.
The woman continued, "You can call me... Gloria. The more you get used to your new situation, the easier I will be able to see. You are simply not there yet, Deary."
"What do you mean, not ready?" Reg questioned.
The old-lady laughed now, lightly, like a grandmother would when a silly grandchild asked an even sillier question, "You have only begun to see your new path. Your life has been changed. You have new challenges to face, new purposes to discover."
"I still don't understand. What the hell are you saying." Reg was getting more frustrated, both with the inability to face this woman directly and with her cryptic language.
"Now, now, Deary! Such language! Settle down and listen. In fact go on watching the people here, and I will try to explain." she said.
She reached out and grasped his hand in hers, the calm engulfed him again. "Every so often there are people who are born special. They have the power to help people. Over time they have been called healers, shamans, sifu or sensei. Some realize their ability, develop them and have spend a lifetime helping others."
Reg turned a little, her image became a little more clear, still shimmering, she was wearing a pale blue dress with a pattern of white flowers. She also wore a necklace with a shimmering blue stone.
Reg looked around, no one in the lobby seemed to notice anything unusual.
Gloria continued, "Thanks to medical technology, there are people like you who are MADE special, through medical treatment, and become...well, become like us, and we need as many of you as we can find."
If Reg had been confused before, by anything from his initial diagnosis only a few short weeks ago, to dealing with the XACTO suit and it's permanence, he was simply lost now. He was glad he was not standing, or he was certain he would have passed out like he did in doctor Warfel's office. For a moment he thought he was going to be sick.
Gloria sat there, patient, letting him absorb what she had said. She smiled, and Reg felt the calming feeling again, "It's o.k. my Deary, you have been through a lot today. I will speak to you again soon. You need to rest."
Reg felt himself leaning over onto the comfortable leather sofa, and he drifted off into sleep.
Chapter 20: A Day of Discovery
"Reg, Reg... Wake Up!!! God, we were so worried! You disappeared!" Polly was shaking him. He sat up with a start.
"Gloria...Gloria?" Reg was trying to bring himself to wakefulness.
Polly, confused, asked, "Who is Gloria?"
"Oh...uh, nobody. Well, she was a woman I was talking with a while ago. She's gone now." Reg tried to explain, hoping Polly would let it go.
"I'm tired. I want to go back to my room." Polly guided him to his feet, as she held him, he noticed that she appeared to emit the most pleasing shade of green light. As he walked he passed many others who emitted various other colors... blues, reds, yellows, browns, greys. It was tiring. When ever he passed by those who appeared 'darker' he got weaker. Passing the young, particularly children, seemed to give him strength. When they got back to his hall, nearing his room, he noticed a bright yellow light coming from his room... "Lucy's here, isn't she?" he asked Polly as they approached his door.
"How did you know that? It was supposed to be a surprise." Polly asked.
"Never mind. I just knew." Reg said. He shuffled slowly to his bed, climbed in, green and yellow light filling the room as he drifted off.
When he woke, the morning sun was streaming into his room at an angle, bouncing off the beige wall, thermal waves from the window heater making the reflections dance on the wall at the foot of the bed. He found he was starving.
The glow of Polly and Lucy was gone. He didn't know what time it was, all he knew is that he could eat an entire side of beef, were it presented to him.
Nurse Clarice had swept into his room in her silent, nursey way. She was taking his blood pressure, checking his pulse.
"Can I get something to eat? I'm starving!" Reg said, sitting up. Now suddenly awake. "Pink, pink. Pink light, Clarice is pink. I don't know what it means but there it is."
"I will let them know in the kitchen, honey-chile. Clarice will hustle you up some food, don't you worry 'bout nothin'." she said as she left the room.
Reg was really surprised by his appetite. Sausage, eggs, a pancake, juice and coffee... all gone, in record time. He felt invigorated. Fresh. Better than he had felt in days. "Maybe, it had all been a dream. A nightmare of some kind." Reg pulled open his hospital gown, only to discover, to his dismay, the blue fabric of the XACTO suit was still there.
"Damn it! Shit...!" he said, to no one in particular. Suddenly though, a golden glow appeared to his right, in the chair to his right. He turned suddenly, saw that an elderly lady in a blue dress, with white hair was sitting there. He blinked, and she was gone.
He turned away and the glow appeared again. "Slowly, slowly, Deary! And, I think I already warned you about that language. My stars!"
"Gl...Gloria? You are real? You weren't some kind of dream from yesterday?" Reg said, remembering to look at her only from an angle.
"Well, to YOU and others like us I am very real." she said. As he turned slowly, he saw her reassuring smile again. "I am glad you have eaten. It's time to take a walk. We have to get you working, and soon. There are lives to save."
Gloria appeared now next to his bed, offering her hand, he reached out and stood up, steadying himself at the foot of his bed. He slid his feet into his slippers and headed for the doorway. Gloria was already in the hall.
"Today, you will meet some people that need our help. Hurry, our first patient is very ill." Gloria pointed to a room down the hall that only emitted the faintest of blue light.
Gloria continued, "This is Patricia. She has acute myeloid lymphoma. The doctors have done all they can, she's only 10. She has so much to live for, but her light is fading, the cancer is winning, she needs your help."
Something moved out of the corner of Reg's eye. Something red, with what seemed like long nails reaching out to the little girl in the bed in front of him. She was struggling to breathe, seemed very much in pain.
The fatherly instinct in him found him reaching out to shove it away. He was surprised when he felt an almost burning resistance at his efforts.
With one hand resting on the child, he pushed away at the being to his right, "LEAVE HER ALONE!" He shouted. His right hand burned more, but the being disappeared.
Turning back to the little girl he said, "Patricia, Patricia, it's o.k. It's going to be fine. You will be o.k."
She opened her eyes, smiled and looked at him, she whispered, "Is it gone? Did you make it go away?"
"Yes." Reg said, "I think so." He smiled at her. As he was standing there, holding her little hand, a team of nurses and doctors rushed into the room.
"Sir, sir. What are you doing? Can you step away from the child please?", a nurse was tugging at Reg's arm.
"Yes, yes. I'm sorry. I was walking past her room and she wanted me to come in. I think she thought I might have been her father or something." a lie, Reg knew, but he could hardly explain how he really got there.
The nurse continued, "It's o.k. sir, she's very ill. She has been talking in her sleep a lot the last couple of days. It's the medication."
"All right. I need to go back to my room anyhow. I'm really tired all of a sudden myself." Reg said, he was honestly tired, his right hand and arm ached, he needed to lay down.
Noticing his weakened state, the nurse held him by the arm, "O.K. let's get you back to your room. I will send in your nurse."
Reg walked arm and arm with the young nurse and when the got back to his room and he took a seat on the edge of his bed, he noticed a faint yellow glow in the nurses abdomen, shining through her otherwise green light, "You are pregnant? When is your baby due?"
Startled the nurse dropped her stethoscope, "What? How could you...? You can't know that? I haven't even tested..." she ran from the room.
As Reg layed back onto the bed, he saw the doctor who was attending the little girl pass by outside his room. He couldn't be exactly sure, but he was almost positive he heard him say, 'complete remission' and 'amazing recovery' and 'her disease is gone, I don't understand it.'
The 'glow of Gloria' as Reg decided to call it, appeared to his left this time. "See, I told you. You have a new purpose. You just cured that little girl. Now rest, I know this is exhausting."
The image of Gloria vanished as the pink glow of Nurse Catrice preceded her arrival into the room, "I hear you had quite an adventure today, chile. I also hear you barely made it back to bed, to. So, Catrice be here with some meds, to let you res' for a while." She produced the ever familiar purple syringe, poked it into the IV tube, and once again, Reg drifted off to sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment